{Tuesday, May 16, 2006}

comfortably numb



ugh, i hate life.
i think it sucks.
i think i suck.
i think i need a break for all these.
THANK GOODNESS HOLIDAYS ARE COMING



omg, yesterday's trng was one of the most ENERGY DRAINING ones lah.
and i was cursing away and i was so bloody irritated.
ugh.
I HATE MYSELF.
and i mean like, we practise until so bloodaye hard, die so many times,
FOR WHAT?
i bet we wont even get anything from that DUMB competition that is too DUMB lah >:/
i seriously feel like quiting.
i mean like i cant cope with studies, im dying, im SLOW.
im so useless please, and i clearly am not BORN to be a syncronised swimmer please.
UGH >>:/
especially if i get NOTHING out of this
i think i'll very much like to be solo, SERIOUSLY.
i mean, that way there will be noone to catch up with, no one to compare with, and no one to be irritated at >:/
it will be much better off for pris too, im like PULLING her down alot.
and i hate the stares her father gives :x


i tell you ah, stop irritating me okay.
im going to burst already, working so hard and there you are, slacking away.
ya, i know im lousy, im slow, so i have to practise.
you can help by not distracting me, telling me what you cannot do, when you clearly can do it so much better than me.
i mean seriously
its too much okay, im going to kill you if this continues.
and you wont like it when i turn nasty
and if you cannot do something properly, practise! no use staring at other people.
its not going to help you improve your skills.
and stop going so fast, and when the coach scold me, you give that innocent face and say sorry, like you'll slow down like that, then later you go like a rocket again.
stop it okay
its irking me alot, and i feel like slapping you.
and dont always give me that pathetic look, you want to compare? i give you mine and stop acting pathetic too.
and im doing my best already lor, no matter what youre say, i know IM doing my best,going as fast as i can, chiong-ing and dying.
i put in all my effort already okay, whether you can recognise it anot, i dont give a damn anymore.
im just so tired.
oh, you can ignore all those above, no use squinting all your eyes to see me vent my anger.
and im not afraid she will read it. she doesnt even come here, and even if she does, she'll be too busy to care about it.



today was okay .. until after recess.
recess we played, in the rain! :D
nice (:



walau, then after recess, i got so .. i dont know lah, pissed?
and frustrated.
i was damn stressed out lah, and i dont know why.
i felt like crying please. >:(
i hate life. x(
stupid science worksheet.
shannen, its okay, it isnt your fault!



and i was so pissed, i thought i will be pissed during np
but i wasnt! (:
yayness
i was proud of myself :D
heheh.
i still hate drills though >:/
omg lah, precamp this friday.
and i'll probably mess up reporting AGAIN.
and if i end up in a shit group, i will seriously burst.
like her
omg lah, i mean im trying to accept her now, but to spend 3 days with her?
SAME GROUP?
i'll faint, seriously.
oh, and tomm and thurs, we have the shouting command thang.
im going to shout on thurs
and it'll be so weird please.
i reckon erica will be chosen (:
STUPID NERD HAS A LOW AND LOUD VOICE. :D
heheh.



today was a lousy day, and i reckon tomm will be too x(




oh let my spirits rest

[[9:43 PM;



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